missing what i'd missed

yesterday was fun....after all this misery happened to me...i just got another bonus to complete my pain...my boss decided to let me stay at home until january 08...he sensed that i have a fuckin degradation in my working ability (that's what he told me) so instead of firing me,he let me refresh myself.i guess that's not so bad at all

think i can spend more time writing shit about myself now....hahaha...

well,i don't have much to say...last night,while having a cup of warm tea with a friend somewhere in this fuckin town...there's a tiny stall that sells pirated dvds and cds...and there's a track he plays as a demo...the song was in mandarin and tell you the truth,my mandarin sucked but i recognized the lyrics in the songs that goes like this (i translated it) : "i don't have money...will you still love me?....how idiot i am....and so on" the song was a real mellow tune...and while listening to the song...a good friend of mine,louie (who was in a condition not so different from me) looked at me and told me to stop thinking shits about her anymore...

i was really afraid...can i still have another "her" in my life?
she was the type of girl who loved me whatever the fuck i am
and i wasted her....
she dumped me for a very simple reason
"you just cannot make me happy....you don't even care about me"
she really got her point...so she just broke-up with me
now,im sitting here in an internet cafe and writing my shits
sometimes human just can't appreciate something that's so fuckin valuable and priceless until it's gone...it's all written but we always makes the same mistakes...just read the word "miss"
i miss what im missing...and i really do...
but,it's all over now...and life goes on....

strange...i was with her for almost 3 years...and...poof...!
she's gone..it was like waking up in a world completely different where she doesn't exist anymore...and it's all just a sweet dream for me...for almost 3 years

i wrote a short poem for myself:

"pure love came from the heart as deep as sea
pity,it's wasted by the sunshine's jealousy
i have nothing but a life i'd be happy to offer
will you still loves me faithfully?"


by some idiot